More about my story

I found out all the reasons why I might not even try to do my best (obviously everything was to do with my childhood), having studied psychology and generally having a keen interest in human behaviour meant that I was in a constant state of analysing myself. But figuring out ‘why’ didn’t really help me change anything, all the apps and advice on getting more organised like “give yourself more time to get ready so you’re not late” didn’t work either! I wondered if I might just be beyond fixing - or that maybe nothing was even broken? Maybe I was just a lazy loser who wants things without trying?

I never really doubted that I could ‘do the thing’ once I got started, but I spent decades thinking that I obviously just wasn’t trying hard enough to start it! I’m almost impressed by the level of optimism that I’d magically be able to ‘do it tomorrow’.

An unexpected divorce and the sudden obliteration of life as I know it thrust me into mountains of therapy - I thought that would be it! I’d finally unravel how I’d ended up here and be able to stop procrastinating and do those things I wanted to do so badly… I decided to train as a Life Coach and help other people get thrive after their own unfortunate life events. I figured out LOADS of reasons why I might not put myself out there, they all made sense, but still nothing clicked.

when you spend so long somehow knowing you’re capable and still repeatedly failing to meet your own standards, a hopeless cocktail of self-doubt, low self-worth, and poor confidence insidiously embeds itself into every single aspect of life. On the outside I was having a great time, and on the inside I was in a constant swirl of chaos and despair.

Forward to 2024, 6 months into a period of intense mystery health problems put me in a state of wondering if I might actually lose my mind, I was struggling at a job I should have been able to do with my eyes closed, and I had definitely Googled “signs of early onset dementia” more times than I’d like to admit.

frequent visitor at the Personal Museum of Guilt, Frustration, and Unmet Potential